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Thursday, February 26, 2015

Guest Post: Ben Wilshire

Aspie's and sexuality



I believe that the subject of sexuality and Asperger’s needs to be discussed more and in an open way. The purpose of this post is to help people understand the topic a little more and discuss some things that can be done to improve outcomes in regards to relationship understanding for Aspies.

I would like to firstly point out Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as it is a good framework to consider when looking at improving quality of life. As seen in the drawing below, arguably sex is one of the most important motivators with sexual intimacy and friendship being on the third most important level. Maslow acknowledged the likelihood that the different levels of motivation could occur at any time in the human mind, but he focused on identifying the basic types of motivation and the order in which they should be met.
 
The difficulties that Aspies face vary from individual to individual, however there are a lot of commonalities. Research into the sexual understanding of Aspies is in its infancy however studies (and my personal experiences and of other Aspies) suggest that Aspies are as interested sex (and intimate relationships) as anyone else, but many struggle with the myriad of complex skills required to successfully negotiate intimate relationships. In my research into the subject I have also noticed that although some Aspies (like myself) don’t have major sensory issues, others do which can make intimacy a challenge. AS will also affect communication, both verbal and nonverbal, social interaction and empathic thought. It can also cause obsessive interests, need for structure and routine, motor clumsiness

People with Asperger syndrome can sometimes appear to have an ‘inappropriate’, ‘immature’ or ‘delayed’ understanding of sexual codes of conduct. This can sometimes result in sexually inappropriate behaviour. For example, a 20-year-old with Asperger syndrome may display behaviours which befit a teenager.

Even individuals who are high achieving and academically or vocationally successful can have trouble negotiating the ‘hidden rules’ of courtship. 
http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/book/9781849059640 


As Dr Tony Attwood says in the new book published by JKP “Been There, Done That, Try This!” “Their (Aspies) sources of information on sexuality may not be peers or personal experiences, but more likely the media, literature and possibly pornography.” This is why specific education needs to be provided to Aspies as more in-depth education will fill in the gaps that cause by lack of intuition. Specific sexual education is also important to help avoid such issues as Aspies getting into trouble with the law by acting inappropriately (such as accessing illegal pornography or stalking potential partners) and becoming victims of sexual assault because they got taken advantage of and in some cases this is caused (through no fault of their own) by not knowing what the intentions of their partner are.



http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/book/9781843101895After searching for a suitable educational programmes that relate to AS and sexuality I found one include many relevant topics and to be in a group structure which will also help participants to improve on their social skills. The program can be found in full in the book “Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality From Adolescence Through Adulthood” By Isabelle Henault. As far as I know this educational programme is the only programme to be developed and tested and is specifically to meet the needs of people with AS.  The course includes 12 workshops, each with its own topic. Although previously unpublished, the programme has been empirically validated and tested in practice with four groups. The results from these trials are also found in the book.



Through more exposure of this issue I believe that more organisations will realise that there is a need for specific education programs for Aspies and will look into the issue of sexuality more and develop and refine programs to suit this need for education. Also Aspies will realise there are resources out there to help them recognise their deficits and how to work around them.

If you have any comments/questions on this article or there is anything that you would like me to cover in a future blog post (as I want to write an article more in depth in the future regarding AS and sexuality) please leave a comment.

For anyone interested in reading about the perspective of a male Aspie (written in first person) using internet dating successfully please see Garry Burge's post here.
 
REFERENCES AND RESOURCES
http://www.maxineaston.co.uk/published/AS_in_the_Bedroom.shtml

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

There is a great need for these kind of resources - not only for Aspies who are seeking a sexual relationship, but also for those who wish to experience effectionate relationships short of sexuality. My own form of AS means that I cannot read the emotions in people's eyes but I can feel that I am loved when someone does something very direct (touch my shoulder, tell me how they feel about me, do something taxing to help me). But it's hard to train your friends to communicate love effectively without it sounding like emotional blackmail. You can read more of my story at aspiepriest.wordpress.com - AspiePriest

ajay said...

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Isabella Math said...

Nothing is not possible in this word.
Herpes I cried out for 8moths had a cure and was making use of the Medication that never wanted a life living on drugs, I applied Antibiotics, he prescribed for me the acyclovir(Zovirax), famciclovir (Famvir), andvalacyclovir (Valtrex).
They never get me cured.
My God keep blessing you and your Family. Dr
ODEY ABANG, your a powerful Herbalist fir your work in my life
I wish you know how I feel inside me when I was making use of does tablets that never could there get me cured. I had to search about some of my favourite blogs when I thought about Dr Odey abang from the testimonies of patients and I remember a friend who told me I should try Dr. Odey Abang herbal medicine. He told me the man can cure me,but was shy and feel its dirty taking in herbs made with African herbalists.
You need to know I would have been cured before now since I knew him then, but still interested in letting you that was my punishment.
Thanks reading my article, feel good and not make my mistake, I love testimonies and explanations of the new beginning is all I hope for
Think about your live and use herbs to get you cured of your challenge on
HIV/Aids
SYPHILIS
DIABETES
CANCER
ALL CAN BE CURED WITH MANY OTHERS BY DR. ODEY ABANG
His email is for you so you speak to him

Odeyabangherbalhome@gmail.com
WhatsApp number +2349015049094

Adams rich said...

Its a pleasure for me to write this great testimony about how i got my Genital HERPES cured a month ago. i have been reading so many comments of some people who were cured from various diseases by Dr Agbi but i never believed them. I was hurt and depressed so I was too curious and wanted to try Dr.Agbi, then i contacted him through his email when i contact him, he assured me 100% that he will heal me, i pleaded with him to help me out. My treatment was a great success, he healed me just as he promised. he sent me his medication and ask me to go for check up after one weeks of taking the medication. i agreed with him i took this medication and went for check up , to my greatest surprise my result was negative after the treatment, i am really happy that i am cured and healthy again. I have waited for 3 weeks to be very sure i was completely healed before writing this testimony. I did another blood test one week ago and it was still Herpes negative. so i guess its time i recommend anyone going through Herpes HSV-1 or HSV-2, HIV, HPV, Hepatitis B, Diabetes, Cancer, all kinds of diseases you may have, reach him through WhatsApp  .add him on whatsapp +2349068918769,  or Email_ dragbibalhome@gmail.com All thanks to you Dr Agbi

Success James said...

FINALLY FREE FROM HERPES VIRUS
I thought my life had nothing to offer anymore because life
became meaningless to me because I had Herpes virus, the
symptoms became very severe and bold and made my family
run from and abandoned me so they won't get infected. I gave
up everything, my hope, dreams,vision and job because the
doctor told me there's no cure. I consumed so many drugs but
they never cured me but hid the symptoms inside me making
it worse. I was doing some research online someday when I
came across testimonies of some people of how DR Ebhota
cured them from Herpes, I never believed at first and thought
it was a joke but later decided to contact him on the details
provided and when I messaged him we talked and he sent me
his herbal medicine and told me to go for a test after two
weeks. Within 7 days of medication the symptoms
disappeared and when I went for a test Lo and behold I was
NEGATIVE by the Doctor Who tested me earlier. Thank you DR
Ebhota because I forever owe you my life and I'll keep on
telling the world about you. If you are going through same
situation worry no more and contact DR Ebhota via
drebhotasolution@gmail. com or WhatsApp him via +2348089535482.
he also special on cureing 1. HIV/AIDS2. HERPES 3. CANCER 4.
ALS 5. HEPATITIS B 6.DIABETES 7. HUMAN PAPILOMA VIRUS DISEASE(HPV)8. 
ALZHEIMER 9. LUPUS (Lupus Vulgaris or LupusErythematosus 

Thomas Vivian said...

Always, anywhere and anytime,I feel very comfortable now all to the work of Dr Odey Abang,the Herbalist who prepare for me the remedies to my health challenges.
I could feel more comfortable when he explained to me how dangerous it's caring Herpes with me getting affected easily with Other sexually transmitted infections. Genital sores increases my risk of transmitting or contracting other sexually transmitted infections, including AIDS.
Newborn infection. ...
Bladder problems. ...
Meningitis. ...
Rectal inflammation (proctitis).
I was so scared when he says that because I found a lover who ran into it and had a shock on me after the checkup and develop stroke.
This has been my earnest prayers for the physician therapist to come in with positive solutions to remedies Herpes and most viral infections. I'm now free and I thank God for leading me to see others getting cured with Herbs. I decided to try and found out that the best way I would have done was to get rid of it and give my testimony. Glory to God I became free after I received his medicine from the DHL and applied as instructed. Till date I had no SYMPTOMS nor virus to detect of me, I called him and thankful for what he did,and ask if he could cure my stroke boyfriend,he said yes and did the same preparation to my boyfriend for his stroke and Recoverd from it. Nothing is impossible with Herbs IN CURES, you're the next if you will be willing to apply his medicine and instructions on how to manage.
Sickness has no right to dwell on us,you can reach him at his email address
For your immediate response to health

odeyabangherbalhome@gmail.com

Isabella Math said...

Nothing is not possible in this word.
Herpes I cried out for 8moths had a cure and was making use of the Medication that never wanted a life living on drugs, I applied Antibiotics, he prescribed for me the acyclovir(Zovirax), famciclovir (Famvir), andvalacyclovir (Valtrex).
They never get me cured.
My God keep blessing you and your Family. Dr
ODEY ABANG, your a powerful Herbalist fir your work in my life
I wish you know how I feel inside me when I was making use of does tablets that never could there get me cured. I had to search about some of my favourite blogs when I thought about Dr Odey abang from the testimonies of patients and I remember a friend who told me I should try Dr. Odey Abang herbal medicine. He told me the man can cure me,but was shy and feel its dirty taking in herbs made with African herbalists.
You need to know I would have been cured before now since I knew him then, but still interested in letting you that was my punishment.
Thanks reading my article, feel good and not make my mistake, I love testimonies and explanations of the new beginning is all I hope for
Think about your live and use herbs to get you cured of your challenge on
HIV/Aids
SYPHILIS
DIABETES
CANCER
ALL CAN BE CURED WITH MANY OTHERS BY DR. ODEY ABANG
His email is for you so you speak to him

Odeyabangherbalhome@gmail.com

Thomas Vivian said...

Always, anywhere and anytime,I feel very comfortable now all to the work of Dr Odey Abang,the Herbalist who prepare for me the remedies to my health challenges.
I could feel more comfortable when he explained to me how dangerous it's caring Herpes with me getting affected easily with Other sexually transmitted infections. Genital sores increases my risk of transmitting or contracting other sexually transmitted infections, including AIDS.
Newborn infection. ...
Bladder problems. ...
Meningitis. ...
Rectal inflammation (proctitis).
I was so scared when he says that because I found a lover who ran into it and had a shock on me after the checkup and develop stroke.
This has been my earnest prayers for the physician therapist to come in with positive solutions to remedies Herpes and most viral infections. I'm now free and I thank God for leading me to see others getting cured with Herbs. I decided to try and found out that the best way I would have done was to get rid of it and give my testimony. Glory to God I became free after I received his medicine from the DHL and applied as instructed. Till date I had no SYMPTOMS nor virus to detect of me, I called him and thankful for what he did,and ask if he could cure my stroke boyfriend,he said yes and did the same preparation to my boyfriend for his stroke and Recoverd from it. Nothing is impossible with Herbs IN CURES, you're the next if you will be willing to apply his medicine and instructions on how to manage.
Sickness has no right to dwell on us,you can reach him at his email address
For your immediate response to health

odeyabangherbalhome@gmail.com

Laura Mildred said...

Am Laura Mildred by name, i was diagnosed with Herpes 4 years ago i lived in pain with the knowledge that i wasn't going to ever be well again i contacted so many herbal doctors on this issue and wasted a large sum of money but my condition never got better i was determined to get my life back so one day i saw Mr. Morrison Hansen post on how Dr. Emu saved him from Herpes with herbal medicine i contacted Dr. Emu on his Email: Emutemple@gmail.com we spoke on the issue i told him all that i went through and he told me not to worry that everything will be fine again so he prepared the medicine and send it to me and told me how to use it, after 14 days of usage I went to see the doctor for test,then the result was negative, am the happiest woman on earth now thanks to Dr. Emu God bless you. Email him at: Emutemple@gmail.com Whats-app or Call him: +2347012841542 

Sierra Nibbe said...

I TESTED POSITIVE TO HIV SINCE 2018

I was told by my doctor that there's no possible cure for it but it can be suppressed with the use of medication!! I felt depressed & sad. I started taking my medication. I felt frustrated, so I tried to seek help online when I came across this website (https://chiefdrluckyherbaltherapy.wordpress.com/) of a doctor called Chief Dr Lucky.  Also I saw a lot of testimonials about him on how he uses natural herbal medicine to cure HIV AIDS and numerous Infections & different kinds of disease as well. So I contacted him and told him my problems after a brief consultation with him. He Prepared and  sent me the herbal medicine and I took it as he instructed me, Then he called me 3weeks after to go and have a check-up!! It brought out testing negative, I felt calm a bit, and the doctors day for more clarity I will have to come back after 1week of which I did and tested negative for the second time !! I am so wow and grateful to this doctor whose medicine has NO SIDE EFFECT, there's no special diet when taking the medicine. He also have cure for 
+HERPES 
+CANCER
+HEPATITIS
+HIV/AIDS
+PCOS
+FIBROID
You can contact him via Email: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com or whatsapp +2348132777335

Sarah Holt said...

Please share as you read okay you may save a soul today, natural herbs are really great, I was cured from HSV by a doctor called DR Okiti from West Africa, now I believe that natural herbs and roots has their own way of working, based on medical report I was told that HSV has no cure even when I saw a post about Dr Okiti how he cured many people with his herbal medicine I doubted it at first but just decided to give it a try because I was so desperately trying to get rid of my problems not knowing it was going to be the end of this deadly virus in my body, please if you have anyone with this same virus or diseases like this contact Dr Okiti via email drokitiherbalhome100@gmail.com or whatsapp ‪+1 (484) 393‑5484‬. I'm a living testimony of his herbal medicine and don't forget to share as you read okay, please save a soul today.

Unkonwn said...

تعتبر شركة مصر للمراجل واحدة من أكبر شركات تصنيع خزانات استانلس ستيل في مصر. تتمتع الشركة بخبرة واسعة في هذا المجال وتوفر منتجات ذات جودة عالية تلبي احتياجات العملاء المحليين والعالميين. تعمل الشركة على تطوير تصاميم مبتكرة وتقنيات حديثة لإنتاج خزانات الاستانلس ستيل التي تتمتع بالمتانة والموثوقية.

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